Meaningful Family Together and "Alone" Time

Parents Magazine article.

#39 Independence is a wonderful thing. For everyone. So is together time. Make sure you have a healthy dose of both.

Independence
I recently told you how one of my sons is super independent and wants to do everything himself... almost. I think I took a good look at this bit of advice and recognized where he is coming from.

From the Beginning
He is a little boy who wants to learn and grow. From the get go he was the smaller embryo and the smaller fetus. he was just slightly bigger for a few days, than his twin brother, but he is small.

He didn't want to be held back... who can blame him. he was stuck under my ribs for months!!! he was breach just about the entire pregnancy and he was stifled in there. So when he got out, he didn't want to be stuck anymore.

Amazing Little Boys
He is amazing! He is smart and funny and kind. He is the bigger sharer... If he has the bowl everyone gets some of what he has: "Here you go." Whether they take it or not, he will offer and share.

Underpants to Sleep Time Rituals
He wants to put his underpants on by himself... looking back, he always wanted to take his diaper off by himself too. He just always has to be moving and doing something. When he gets sleepy, he bumps up the activity level to stay awake. He doesn't want to miss anything. When he does go to bed he has to pull his own blanket up and tuck himself into bed.

Independence vs Alone
Being independent, and being alone are very different things. He doesn't like to be alone. but he likes to do things himself.

Individual Solitude
I think that everyone needs a little solitude... I read somewhere ,before the boys were born, to get two playpens for your twins. They will love to be together, but they will love to be able to be "alone" once in a while. I only had one and they always played nicely, but I realize that there was a point that they needed to have the second crib set up so they would be "alone" together. :)

Personally
I slept MUCH better when they were sleeping on my bed with me (when they were tiny) I could watch them and feel them and smell them. When they were in their bed, I was "alone". I needed them.

Then they got big and they took over our bed without meaning to and I was always stuck in between two giant babies in the most awkward positions... my arms would fall asleep and I couldn't move them without getting screamed at.

Meaningful Together Time
When the boys and i have meaningful time together. when i give them even just a few minutes of my undivided attention. they are happy to play on their own for most of the day, and even be kind to one another almost the entire time.

Independently Together
Remember, being alone and being independent are very different things. Independently i can do the dishes while the boys play at the table or with the magnets on the fridge. I can do them all alone if they are asleep. It is nice to do it with them there.

Individual Attention
Make sure you do have some alone time for everyone. There are those days when one or the other wakes up and the other on is still sleeping. it is nice to have that time with one of them alone together and get closer.

Twins Together
Being a parent of twins is kind of hard when you know they need individual attention. Someone is always interrupting. I think that we are blessed with them, because we will choose the best ways to help them together. Just be the best you can be, no matter your circumstance.

Enjoy right now
Cara :)