My IVF Experience - I Love My Children!

I personally have had quite a hormonal experience the last 15 years of my life.

I have never had a regular menstrual cycle and I later found out that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome)

We started trying to conceive shortly after we were married... six months later we went to the Dr. to find out what we could do to have success. He put me on Clomid (UGH!) for a very long time... we probably tried three times the recommended time and normal dosage.

Well with this method of drug, I ended up flat on my back, on Lortab, unable to move or I felt like I would die... in retrospect the pain (labor below) from labor, was nothing in comparison to these awful hyper stimulated cysts on my ovaries.

So with the Clomid also came the antidepressants! I couldn't keep myself together! I couldn't' get a clear thought in my head. It was really not a fun experience. I tend to be a 1-5%er my entire life, just so you know. But I share this for my fellow women who may experience anything like this at all ever.

I didn't like the antidepressants. The only thing they did for me was to help me think more clearly, but it was all overwhelming anyway. I just needed to not be taking Clomid.

So on we went to a specialist... I need to back up and tell you that my Dr. was retiring and I almost felt like he was just trying to hurry and make a resolution for my "problem" and get me out of his office before he left for good. That is how I honestly felt... and still do feel.

So he referred me to the Specialist... I wish he had done it sooner, but I know that it is all about proper timing. :) I love the Specialist Dr.!! He was fantastic, understanding and exactly what we needed to help me through this very emotional and hormonal experience. To him I want to say THANK YOU!!!

We tried a couple of cycles of IUI to no avail... And on we went to our last resort... IVF. We were very blessed to be able to apply for what they call "The Miracle Fund" and be approved. I am going to share the experience though, just in case you may be in the running...

It was really... belittling. And I think it was just the person who had to come interview us. They ask for your financial background and current standings... to be expected, they can only approve those who truly "need" their assistance. After that stage, there is a social worker who comes and interviews (interrogates) you. This particular gentleman, left me feeling incredibly discouraged. I didn't think there was anything wrong with us or any reason we shouldn't have children... it is basically the same thing they do to interview prospective adoptive parents.

Again I was feeling incredibly discouraged and then they make you wait for a very long time to find out the results by mail...

On my birthday I got the letter that we were approved!! :) I was so excited I could barely stand it!

OH!! This is kind of important. Find a confidant that you can tell everything to and keep everything else to yourself. Through the entire process it is so much harder to tell people and be excited and then have nothing but sadness and disappointment. I had many a month that I thought for certain I was pregnant, just to start my period and I just sat and cried on the toilet for an hour or more.

This got progressively worse the more people knew and the more time went by. So we decided to keep it all to ourselves for sanity sake. It really isn't any ones business but your own anyway.

I am glad we did keep it to ourselves, it was very hard to go through, but it brought us much closer together as we kept it between the two of us, and my outlet.

So the IVF road starts with shots, shots, and more shots... and then some more shots. And then more poking... I can't even remember how many shots I had, but I am not a person who likes to get poked at all. I tend to stay away form things that will hurt in any way... I don't like to be hurt. So after a million and a half shots, we watched very closely to make sure I didn't' hyper stimulate again and retrieved twelve very healthy eggs. From there my husbands very motile sperm was combined and we ended up with only 4 of them deteriorating.

I have to tell you what I remember of the retrieval process: I remember going in and getting in the gown. they gave me something to make me unaware... I suddenly remember being poked inside and saw a screen... It was my ovaries and eggs. My husband was not allowed to talk to me about any of it for some reason... I don't know why and I guess I never will, unless anyone knows why. Please tell me if you do, it has bothered me for years now. I think they gave me more "meds", cause I went back out. I was very tender for a few days after that.

I woke up one morning and knew that: "This was the day". Time and patience (as patient as you can be while utterly hormonal and emotional). They transferred the two healthiest embryos on July 4th, 2006. It was a very happy Independence Day for us. :)


Two weeks later we went in for a blood test... and then we waited for the results... and waited... OH MY! Is that ever hard to wait for after three and a half years of trying... waiting for the results of your one time shot at IVF... FINALLY! They called and asked me to sit down... I just started crying. They said that the possibility that it was twins was very high and real as the indicating hormone level was more than double. :)

Yeah!! We were FINALLY pregnant! And I had to keep getting shots. Progesterone shots. at 8 weeks we had a Viability Ultrasound and confirmed two hearts beating! :)

We wanted to tell everyone on Grandparents day, after we reached the second trimester. But I started getting too big too fast. We went to my cousins wedding in Boise, ID and told all of my family there (three weeks before Grandparents Day in September), and came home and told the in-laws.

I had printed off a copy of the ultrasound that showed two babies and their little tiny hearts... and included a copy of the congratulatory letter that the hospital had sent us, put them in an envelope and handed the first one to my dad, who sat looking at it wondering what it was supposed to be... and then life erupted! :) It was basically the same thing when I handed it to my mother-in-law.. it just took them longer to comprehend. :)

My in-laws said they thought something was up... I was either pregnant or gaining a lot of weight really quickly. Which I had done before, that wouldn't have been a surprise. I really couldn't hide it though. :)

We went to all of our appointments and had all the NSTs that we needed. We saw both active little babies jumping around often in Ultrasounds. Perfect and healthy and awesome!! I was very grateful my husband went to every appointment with me. He was very involved. I so love him.

One day we went in for our routine Ultrasound and they couldn't see baby A's face! So they did an internal Ultrasound and poked him in the eye!! So I was put on bed rest because I was only 30 weeks at the time... I think. I was on bed rest until 34 weeks. at which point I could get up and be normal.

That was hard. I was very active. i took maternal water aerobics classes and tried really hard to be active and healthy and eat really well. So bed rest is where I got "fat" if you will. I gained all the weight at that time.

We went in about 38 weeks for an NST and they decided it was time to have these babies. They broke my water and prepped me for the epidural I basically had to have. I also had to deliver in the OR and my Dr was out of town. :(

I am going to have to pause right here and continue this on another post. :)

Enjoy Right Now!
Cara :)